My baby is getting sooo big...

Well, today is my Beenie's last day of Joy School for the year. I am sad, but happy! I can't believe she will be done after today. I keep telling her its her last day today and she is getting upset with me saying, "Mom, I know... you telled me that last night!" She is excited, and just wants to get there.

She is so smart and has learned so much this year. She is a sponge and she amazes me with the things that she remember's. She had such a great time this year, made some good friends, and learned some very fun things. I am so proud of her, she is just one amazing kiddo!!

I know, you would think that she was graduating high school or something, but it is just her first year of Joy School. Her graduation is next monday. I will have pictures and a total rundown of what happens.

I love my girls! (if you couldn't tell already!)

Chicken Salad...

So, one of my favorite spring/summer things to eat is Chicken Salad. It is something fresh and tastey!!! I have been looking and looking for a recipe that was good, and easy... well, my sister-in-law Lori has this fabulous recipe that I absolutely love!!! I am making it for girls night and I hope that there will be some left to serve... Joseph and Jonathan love this stuff, and could eat the entire thing in just a day or so (it has happened more than once). I thought that I would share her recipe with all of you, maybe you all are looking for that one salad recipe that makes you happy, or maybe you just like to add to your collection.

Lori's Yummy Chicken Salad

6 c. cooked, cubed chicken
2 1/4 c. red seedless grapes, cut in half
1 1/2 c. celery, diced
3/4 c. toasted almonds (totally optional, I like it without)
1/4 c. green onions, diced
2 c. mayo
1-8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
4 t. lemon juice
1/2 t. seasoning salt
dash of salt

Put all your meat, veggies, and fruit in BIG bowl. In a mixer, mix cream cheese, mayo lemon juice and seasonings together until smooth. Pour over the chicken mixture, and mix until everything is covered in the dressing. You can eat right away, but it tastes better after it chills atleast an hour. It is good served in pita bread, lettuce wraps, croissant rolls, hollowed out tomatoes or bell peppers, or tortilla's.
Serves 20 big sized servings!!!

A happy birthday for my sweety!!!

Yesterday was my hubbies birthday. He doesn't read my blog, so I didn't do a birthday tribute to him on here. He didn't go to work for his birthday, so it was nice to have hime home. We had a great day. Beene had her second to last day of school, so we just vegged while she was gone, he got to sleep in for his big day!!! We picked her up and went to Carls Jr. (Beene picked for him, he wouldn't have chosen that since he eats there a lot while at work), the girls wanted chicken nugget stars and fries. Then, we went and did some shopping, then back home we went. We just hung out and laughed, and talked.

Joseph, Jeremy and Jason came over, which was nice because we usually only see all three of them on Sunday's. Jonathan made his birthday dinner, which I would have made, but I don't really make Chicken and Dumplings that well. That is what his mom used to make him every year when he was growing up, and it is his favorite. We weren't too sure that everyone would like it, but to our surprise... everyone had seconds. Jason learned how to make them, since it is "Johnson Family Heritage". They had a great bonding time together. After dinner he opened presents... he didn't want me to spend a lot of money on him, so I got him things that reminded me of him. He got "cheap" candy from the girls. If you don't know what "cheap" candy is, let me give you my great knowledge... lemon heads, grape heads, nerd ropes, jaw breakers, gobstoppers, etc. Pretty much anything that is 4/$1.00 or cheaper. He could eat those all the time, and when I see them, I think of him(I didn't want you to think that I thought of him as "cheap"). He loves Marinelli's Sparkeling Apple Juice, so since he turned 42, I got him 6 (4+2=6) of those. They are his guilty pleasure and loves them to pieces. He was VERY excited about those. Then, I got him the movies "Signs" and "Sixth Sense", we used to have them, and he has wanted them back badly. I also got him Toffeyfay's. Jeremy got him Cane Cola, which is something that they both love. Jason got him more toffyfay's. He scored in the candy area, as well as the drink area. But, he loved every bit of what he got. He and the boys watched Signs, and I took the girls to the park behind our house for a bit because that movie is a little scary.

He got a card from his sweet Aunt Jo, that had his $1 in it, she has sent him $1 every year since he was a kid. He also got calls from family, and friends. What a day it was... long and perfect! When we went to bed, he was happy as could be. He had a great day and loved having all of the kids there with him.

Girls Night Out... again!!

Hey, its that time again... that's right, Girls Night Out is tomorrow. This month has been a little full of ups and downs and so I haven't posted anything about it. We are making these cute little mini scrap books that Amy makes out of CD cases. They are super easy, and fun to make. I can't wait. We are going to have 13 of us there, and that is a huge turn out for us. I am definatly going to take pictures and post them on thursday. Amy had a class at her house a few years ago and we made one for Father's Day. This year it will be a Mother's Day theme. Fun, Fun, Fun!!!

I am making chicken salad for my treat to bring. Last time we had a TON of sweet treats, so this time, I thought I would do something not sugary!! I like how I said "bring something", since it is at my house!!

Well, I have to go and get my house ready for company. It is nice that I have this once a month, because my house is generally straightened up, but once a month it get's a good deep clean.

Happy Birthday to a special mommy!!!

Today is my mom's birthday, she is turning "26"! (wink, wink) I am so lucky to have her in my life. She is a phenominal mom, wife, and a wonderful grandma. She is always there to listen to us when we need to talk, and always is there to give us loves when we need them. I am so blessed to have her as my mom. My kids adore her and can't wait to go to her house every week. She is a hard worker, and is loved by everyone she meets. She is funny, and there is never a dull moment when she is around!!

Here's our special birthday song, that she sings to us every year on our birthdays...

My name is zoom and I live on the moon
I just came down to sing you this tune
Hey Mommy, its your birthday... today!!!

Here's to another great year mom!!

Prepare yourself...

... for the ultimate pick me up of the day. If you are on my email list, you got this already, but it was too good not to post on here. Just when I needed one, my mom emailed me this great pick me up video. It is a clip from an episode of Ellen, who is hillarious as is, but this is the best!!!

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/01/hawaii_chair.php, I wish I could figure out how to put the whole video on here instead of just the link, but this is the best I could do.

ENJOY!!!

I love my husband's employers!!

My husband called me yesterday and said that he won a night stay at Castle Creek Inn in Salt Lake. I am very excited about this. Since we have had kids, we have not had a night away just the two of us, overnight. I don't know how to act. I am so gitty and can't wait till we go. Usually he wins things like $5 to Cold Stone, or things like that. He is really good at getting these things too. When I was pregnant with Beene, he won a spa package at a Inn by Park City. It was so nice, we had dinner, a beautiful room with a view, and a couples massage. It was a huge gift, even though I was fighting the morning sickness pretty bad. But, we went for our anniversary. It was so nice to be away and be pampered. So, now I am excited to do this because we haven't been away since that evening. Now, I just have to decide what suite I want... I have 9 to pick from. It is hard, I don't want it too girly, but I don't want it too masculine. Oh the excitement!!!

Saying Goodbye...

This weekend was my Grammer's viewing and funeral. What a hard weekend, probably the hardest I have ever had in my life. Bret did a great job with Grammer, she looked beautiful. Mom and Judy dressed her in a dress that screamed "Grammer", it was pink and it had rose buds on it and then it had a little white sweater that went over it. She wore little sweaters all the time, so that also screamed her name. Her casket was absolutely beautiful. She had picked it out a few years ago. It was kind of a purple color and on the inside it had a humming bird embroidered on it. She loved "hummy birds", she used to have a couple feeders outside her house in St. George and it was always fun at breakfast, to watch those amazing birds. She had some "hummy" pins on her pillow along side her as well. She had her tv afgan(sp?) blanket wrapped around her legs, she always had one of those near by.


We were able to have our time with her, to say our goodbyes. We were able to spend time as a family and grieve together. Then, it was time to close her casket... I had held it together the whole time, until this point in the evening. When Bret came up and started talking, I lost it. Jonathan wasn't able to be there, and so I had the girls there with me. I was sitting on a chair with one girl on each leg and I started balling. Julles then looked at me and said really loud, "Mom, don't cry!!! Only babies cry!" she repeated that a few times and I got it under control, but it was hard not to just wale!! This was my grammer, and that was going to be the last time I was going to see her actual face and body. There was a gentleman who was a friend of Grammer and Gramps and Bret's family who said a prayer, then we watched as Bret closed the casket, what a hard experience to have. It felt so final.

Saturday, the weather couldn't have been more perfect. It was a warm day with a nice breeze. We went and had a family prayer, said by my mom. She did a great job on it, I know that she was worried about it a little. We then filed into the chapel at the mortuary, it was full to the brim with people who knew Grammer and loved her. Rachel and Mandi (my cousins) sang a beautiful song called "Remember Me" and did a fabulous job. A gentleman who was a friend of the family was officiating the services. We did not have an official eulogy, instead... the grandkids each took 2 or 3 minutes and told our memories of her. My sister's and I went first because my mom is the oldest daughter. Then Stacey and her 5 girls sang "For Good" from Wicked. They were phenominal!! Then Brad's wife spoke in place of Brady who was not able to be there. She said very nice things and read a poem that Brady had written. Then Jana and Natalie gave their memories. Bret's kids; Rachel, Mandi and Chris spoke about what they remembered about her. It was so neat to hear what everyone remembered about her. One thing that everyone agreed on was that we never heard Grammer get angry, she was a great example of patience, and deep unshaken love of family. I was worried that we might overlap memories, but it was perfect. We all remembered the silly songs that she would sing with us in the car, or the fact that she was proud of you no matter what you did. She would introduce the kids to her friends like this: name, and what their talent was. For Kristy, it was, "This is my grand-daughter Kristy, she's funny, say something funny Kristy!" So, needless to say, I was glad that I went after Kristy when I spoke, because she had a very heartfelt, funny speech prepared. I was so grateful that Jonathan helped me put my thoughts down on paper, because when I got out there, I was so nervous, I would have forgotten what I wanted to say. Anyway... there was a family that performed "Ashokan Farewell", it was beautiful, and she would have loved that song. Bret had everyone send him picture's of Grammer to him, and they put together a great video with her favorite songs being played on the piano as the movie ran. There was laughing and some tears in this great video. It was very rare to get a picture of her by herself, so most of them were of her with friends or family. Then, the pallbearers stood up and moved to the door at the front of the chapel, they took her casket and moved it to the door to put in the hurse and then we heard bagpiper's. I started balling, it was so powerful. Those bagpipes make beautiful music.

We drove to the cemetary and Bret said a dedicatory prayer of her grave site. My cousin Chris and little Avery released monarch butterflies and there was one that just would not fly away. It stayed on Chris' finger for a while, then it went to the casket and the flower arrangements that were around. All the little kids were able to touch it if they wanted, and then just before everyone started to leave, it flew away. How neat it was to watch them all fly away. They were really beautiful.

We went to Judy's after for a luncheon and it was hard to be there without Grammer, it was our first "family gathering" without her. It was wierd to see Gramps without Grammer near by. It was nice that we were all together as a family to be there for eachother. The food was really good, and there was a ton of it. Judy's friends were fabulous and were there to help with dishes and making sure there was food out for everyone. Judy, be sure to tell them thank you for us. How lucky we all are to have good friends to help us out when things are down.

I must say, I thought that things would be easier this week, but they aren't. I find myself really tired, and thinking of her a lot. I find myself crying while I cook, clean or do laundry. But, how lucky I was to have her around for so long, and to have her in my life as much as I did. She was my only grandma that I ever knew. She was a huge blessing in my life, and I am glad I knew her. Saying goodbye is hard, but I am glad to know it is not forever, and that I will see her again.

Love to all my family who will read this, I am thinking of you each day. Thank you to all my friends who gave kind words and had me in their prayers this weekend, it was appreciated.

Your invited...

If you want to be... I am going private with my blog. Lots of friends have been doing it and I agree, it is just too scary who can see these things. Blogstalking has become a frequent thing. My mom's friend that she works with has a son that is a police officer and parole officer. He cringes when he hears of people puting pictures of kids on thier blogs and facebook and such because he says that "bad" people surf the net all the time to see pictures of little kidlets. That creeps me out, so I am going to finally do it. So, if you would like to be invited to see this blog, leave me your email address.

Thanks a bunch!

Such sweet understanding...

The morning my grammer died, I was laying in bed awake at about 5:30 and Jonathan woke up for a minute and I told him that she had passed. Beene was in our bed because she had a nightmare, and I thought she was asleep. Jonathan gave me a kiss and said he was sorry she was gone. Beene suddenly said, "mommy, does that mean grammer won't be sick anymore?" I said, "yes, my baby, she won't be sick anymore!" She then said, "good, I am glad!" and went right back to sleep.

I didn't think to really talk to her about what happened. She knew that she was sick, but I never said anything to her about her dying. I guess I don't give her enough credit.

Now, I have been talking to her about it more, since she is understanding things. I told her that we were going to go and say goodbye to Grammer today and she asked if she was going to be there. I told her yes and that she would be there, but she would be asleep in a casket. She then, of course asked me what a casket was, and I told her the only thing that came to my mind... a beautiful wooden box that she will be buried in. She said, "oh, to be buried in the sand?" I told her that she would be buried in the dirt tomorrow. She was ok with that, and then asked, "will I get to be there?"

I love my kids so much, and they have made it so that I haven't been a basket case all week long. They keep me laughing and grateful for the life that I have.

So proud of myself....

Jonathan and the boys have always been the Lego builder's in the family because I usually get intimidated by them. Well, Jonathan got this cool huge helicopter that has a motor in it. He started it like 5 times and would get it organized and then put it all away for a later time. So, one night he started to do it again and got the base of it done. Then, he started to realize that the instruction's were 60 pages long. He was only on page 2. There was lots to do, so I decided I would do it for a while. I DID IT ALL, all 60 pages of the book! To top it all off, the motor worked and the blades move when you turn it on and when you turn the switch the other way, it shoots missles. I was so proud of myself, I had to take a picture of it and show you all. The biggest lego set I had done before that was a little bird for Beene's nursery before she was born. So, you can see why this was such a "moment" for me. I did have to ask Jonathan for help a few times, but he said that I could take all the credit.
So, introducing my huge Lego Helicopter.......

It was very complicated, and took me like 3 hours. So, I had to have proof of my hard work!!

Hallelujah!!!

So, yesterday was an exciting day for me. I have been trying to talk Jonathan into getting Beene's hair cut for, well forever. She has had one hair cut, and that was last year by HIM and his scissors from his pocket knife. It was barely a trim, and she has kind of had a mullet (a cute one, but a mullet non the less!!) Well, he has told me no, for the last while, and then to our surprise she asked us for one on friday last week. So, because she asked and not me offering it up, he said yes. So, my good friend Keri (who the kids call Miss Keri), is a fabulous hair stylist and she fit them into her schedule yesterday. They were so excited and Beene really wanted to sit in the cool chair at Miss Keri's work that could go up and down. So, since this is their first "professional"(no offense Kristy) haircut... I had to take the camera!!! They look so stinkin cute!! She curled it and put cute pony's in and they thought they were just beautiful!!!


The "before" of Beene in her cape and the cool chair. The "during" of Julles (who would not hold still, she is my child and has to watch everything that is going on.) and Miss Keri doing her magic.

The beautiful girls for an "after" picture. The were sitting in the "brain washing" chair. (the chair with the thing on it that they put on you for perms and colors.) That is what Keri said a little girl called it once and it has stuck. I like it, it is very fitting!! Anyway... Daddy approved and thinks that his girls are still very beautiful. I had individual pictures of them with them standing up, but they were really fuzzy, I think I forgot to turn on my flash!!! Oh well!! We saved their first snippets of hair and Keri taped them together and we wrote their names on the tape. They thought that was pretty cool. Anyway, now they will look beautiful for the funeral on Saturday. Thanks to Keri for being such a great friend and hooking us up!!! You are awesome!!! I am next when she get's back from Disneyland!

Evelyn "Pete" Petersen Hines

This is the link to the obituary found on Myers Mortuary website.
http://www.myers-mortuary.com/_mgxroot/page_10729.php

Then you can find her name Evelyn Petersen Hines and click on view obituary if you'd like to read it and see her beautiful picture.

Grammer and the girlas...

From left to right: Jillian, Julles, Jamie, Grammer, Stacey(my sister), and Kristy (my sister)





This picture was the last picture we had taken with my grammer. This was right before her birthday lunch. We went to a chinese resturaunt because she loves the food, and Gramps won't eat it. We went to a great place (so great, I can't remember the name... but it is in Roy) where they made her feel super special. The owner was an older gentleman that kept trying to get my grammer to kiss him. I had never seen her so embarassed. Then, when we were done eating, he came and played a beautiful insturment for her and also played a leaf for her. It was such a great day, and I remember her saying that she knew it was going to be her last birthday. My girls gave her fruit loop bracelets and when we were looking for something the other day, we found them in the top of her special trinkets drawer. She was so thoughtful like that, keeping things that really meant a lot to kids.

Anyway, I just thought I would post this picture of all the Morrow sister's with their grammer on such a great day!!

For Good!!

My sister Stacey and two of her girls are going to be singing at Grammers funeral. They have beautiful voices. They are going to be singing "For Good" from Wicked. It fits how we feel about Grammer so well. I ball eveytime I hear it, it is just so beautiful.

Here is the link to the song on you tube in case you haven't ever heard it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05jdB1tGE_g

So Long, Farewell...

It is 3:40 in the morning and I am writing to sadly say that my grammer has passed away, this 14th day of April at 3:09 a.m with all her kids and Gramps there with her to say goodbye. Oh how bittersweet it was to get the phone call. I knew it was coming, but it is so hard to know that she is gone. She is out of all her pain now, and is with people who love her dearly and she is happy.

I wish that you all could have known my grammer, know the wonderful woman that she

was. For those of you who had the wonderful opportunity of having her in our lives, my heart is with you and our loss is a great one.

With a sad heart we say so long, farewell, see you soon!!! We love you Grammer!!!

Baby hungry no more...

Since a lot of people I know are expecting babies soon, I have been getting a little baby hungry lately. Well, that has been cured.

Yesterday was my sister's bday and she wanted to go and visit my grammer. She is babysitting her friends little boy named Ryan while his parents are in Hawaii. So, I offered to tend him so that she could have some quiet time with her. Well, let me start off by saying that Ryan is one of the cutest little boys around. He is super smart and I just wanted to snuggle him all the day long. He is 16 months old, and BUSY!!! I couldn't believe how lucky I have been to have kids who don't have to be watched all the time. He was all over. We had lots of fun, and Beene loved him. Stacey brought a bucket of horses which he calls "nays", and he loves dogs and was yelling out the back door, "goggy, goggy" and was getting mad that the doggy wouldn't come. He kept trying to go down the stairs and trying to escape out the front door and when he couldn't get the back door open, he tried the dog door. I caught him half way out that little flap. I changed a lot of diapers, and had to find a way to keep his hands busy because he doesn't like his pants pulled down. There is a coffee table with a glass top on it and I turned around for a second and turned around and he was standing on the edge of it. I don't know how it didn't flip him off to the ground because Julles pushes on the edge of the table and the glass lifts up. Scared me to death!!

I don't think that I could do it again and chase a little baby all over. I was saying "no, no" more than I like to. I loved having him with us and we had a lot of fun, he really is just a very busy baby. Also, Julles wasn't to fond of him, and got really jealous. I realized yesterday that she is kind of a bully. I don't think she would do well with a younger sibling. So, that totally sealed the deal. NO MORE KIDS FOR ME!!!!

I had a dream... and other ramblings

Last night, I slept kinda rough, in and out. I had a dream that I was laying down and that my Grammer was snuggeling me, she was holding me tight. When I woke up to Julles calling for me I realized it was really Jonathan holding me tight, but what a dream to have. I then got worried that maybe she had passed in the night, but I didn't hear any phone's ring here at my mom's house. When my mom called to get the morning update, she was still doing ok, she had a really restless sleep and tossed and turned a lot. She was up a long time again yesterday and ate a lot as well. Everytime I leave her side I tell her I love her and give her a kiss on the forehead, not knowing if that will be the last time I see her.

I have only lost one other immediate relative in my lifetime, the first being my cousin Andy, who died a few years back. I had a dream after he died that he came to me in a grocery store and wanted me to tell his mom and dad that he was doing great and was very happy. It was a lot more detailed than that, but that is the general idea. I didn't see him much growing up, but when we did get together, it was nothing but laughs and fun. It was hard to have him gone, but knowing what I know about death, I know it is not for long. The same goes for Grammer, but she has been such a big part of my life and it is just sad to know that she can't be here on earth with us forever. She is such a strong part of our family and has made our family strong. We were talking last night and Rich (my brother-in-law) said that she is truly the cornerstone of this family.

I was driving down to Ogden on Tuesday to see her, for what I thought might be the last time, and I thought to myself..."How lucky am I that I can get in my car and drive down to see her!" If this would have been back in the days of horse and buggy, how different things would've been. First of all, instead of a phone call, it would've been a letter that would have taken a month to get there, and then weeks to get to her side. I am so glad that I live in this time where we have the things that keep us in touch with the people that we love. I don't think that I could've asked for a better family than I have. Love to you all!!!

Happy Birthday to Stacey!!!

Today is my sweet, beautiful oldest sister Stacey's birthday. It is not one that she is too excited for, seeing that she is the big 4-0, but I think birthday's are special!!

So Stace...
I love you so much and am thankful that you and I are sisters. I love that you, Krit and I have such a good relationship. I am thankful to you for being such a great aunt to my kidlets and they love you more than you know!! You have always been there for me when I needed to vent or just needed a hug!

"I like you just because I like you"
(an excerpt from the book "I like you")

Here is a little song for you...

My name is Zoom and I live on the moon,
I just came by to sing you this tune...
Hey Stacey... its your Birthday... Today!

Love you lots and lots!
Jamie

Thank You All!!!

Thank you all for your kind words about my sweet, sweet grammer. It was very theraputic to write about the experience my family and I are going through. It was very nice to read all the nice things you all had to say.

Update: Yesterday we went back to her house because she had an ok night on tuesday night. We got there around 11:30 in the morning and the nurse came and said that her oxygen had dropped to 84, it had been 87 the day before. Her heart rate is a little wacky as well. She said that she is definatly in the down-hill slope of this life. My gramps cried a lot yesterday, it is so hard to see him cry because he is such a hard faced man. He has seen a lot of things in his life, he was in WW2 and had a lot of friends die in front of him, but this is something I have never thought I would see my gramps do. Gramps got out of the house with my uncle and was gone for a while, which is good considering he has been worried to leave her there, worried that something would happen when he is gone. He would never forgive himself for that. But, I think he felt ok leaving knowing that there was lots of family around. I went to check on her and she was awake, so I talked to her and told her that the kids were there and they were excited to be there at her house again. She decided she wanted to be up and out of her room with the family. Mom and Bret helped get her into the tv room, and she sat in there for a while. That tired her out so she wanted to lay down, but not in her room! She slept a while on the couch. I left to take the kids to Newgate Mall in Ogden to let them run and play on the soft play land they have. We were gone about an hour and a half and when we got home, Grammer was at the bar in the kitchen, eating applesauce and raisin filled cookies and some tissue. My mom told her she couldn't eat it, it was for her nose, and she had to fight her for it. Grammer got mad at my mom and gave her a really dirty look. After she ate, she cleaned up after herself, just like Grammer always has. She wiped up the crumbs and the spilled milk. I guess she looked at my mom earlier and was trying to say something and mom asked her what she wanted and she looked at her as said, "starved". They helped her to the tv room and there she sat with all the great grand kids watching Alvin and the Chipmunks for like two hours. She was laughing with the kids and trying to talk to them. She would get frusterated because she wanted to talk so badly, but couldn't get the words out. She would hold on to all the "littles" (that is what we call the great grandkids) and not let go. My cousin Mandi was sitting by her and she wanted to look at her watch, so she took it off so that gram could see it and she proceeded to pinch Mandi really hard. Then a few minutes later, my other cousin Rachel came running in and told us that she just ate the sponge we use to wet her lips down with. (it looks a lot like a sucker, it is a little blue sponge with a sucker stick on it.) So, my aunt and I ran in to get it out of her mouth and she was just a chewin that thing. We tried to get our fingers in her mouth to get it out, and she was so tight lipped we couldn't get her mouth open. So, Judy gave up, and Brad came in and used what he called "old dog tricks" and got her mouth open and she spit it out when one of the kids brought her a glass of water with a straw. I guess she was just really thirsty and was trying to get all the water out of there that she could!!! Needless to say, we threw that away and kept them away from her the rest of the night. We all ate dinner and figured she would maybe want to eat. They brought her out and she sat at the table with us all and ate noodles (that she poured water into and mashed up a cookie in it as well... yuck!!) She wouldn't let anyone help her, she wanted to do it on her own. It was like watching a baby trying to feed itself. She would laugh whenever my Uncle Brad was around. She obviously thought he was funny. She ended up eating lots of cookies yesterday and some cereal with banana. Mom and Judy got her in the shower, and Jana did her hair, they took her nail polish off, and made her all nice and comfy. It was so nice to have lots of family there again. It was good to see Brad, who drove from Reno all day. My cousin Brady is coming tomorrow, and will be there to help until Sunday. Grammer sure has a special place in her heart for her grandsons, since there were only three of them. We have a lot of girls in our family, boys are rare to come by. That will make her happy. I guess she slept really well last night and was bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. My sister's Stacey and Kristy are there today visiting her.

Gramps thinks this is her "gift" that the hospice nurse keeps talking about. She said that right before people die, they will give the family and themselves a "gift", usually wanting to be out with the family and eating a lot. She said that you start to think she is just improving, but then within days they usually die. That is what happened to her mother in law. So, if that is the case, we were sure blessed with that gift and love her so much. If not, and she is just improving, then that is ok too. We cherish everyday we have with her and will never forget the memories that were made yesterday. We all laughed very hard and my stomach hurt so bad from it.

Thank you again to all those who left comments. Your friendships are special to me and I appreciate the prayers and thoughts! I also thank you for putting up with my endless writting!!

Our Grammer...

Grammer and Julles, August 2005

Grammer with Beene, Father's Day 2004

Last week my grammer (grandma) was put on hospice care. She has been slipping away the past few years and has gotten worse just over 2 weeks time. She has had several mini strokes and has just been getting really tired a lot lately. If you aren't familiar with hospice, they come in when a person has been given less than 6 months to live, and they are there to ease the death process. It was sad to hear that she had been put on this program because even though it is the best thing for her to "go home", it is hard because we will miss her so badly. The hospice people gave my grandpa a "handbook" of the dying process, things to watch for and so on. Well, she has been showing several of the signs for quite some time. Monday, my mom called me and said that when the nurse had gone to my grandparents home she let my gramps know that it wouldn't be long now. My mom let me know that I should go and see her soon so that I could have one last time with her. I was planning on doing it this afternoon, not a long visit, because she has been so lathargic lately.
This morning, at 8:30 my cell phone rang. I immediatly started to worry, because NO ONE calls me that early unless something is wrong. I was on the phone with Jonathan for his daily drive to work and started saying, "please don't be my mom, please don't be my mom!!!" I looked at my caller id and it was my sister Stacey. I then started to worry because I thought to myself, "if grammer died, mom wouldn't call me, Stacey, Kristy or dad would!" So, I answered while Jonathan was on hold and she started out with, "I just talked to mom..." I knew something was wrong. She proceeded to tell me that Grammer had gotten out of bed last night and tripped over her hope chest, hit her head, and passed out. Gramps (who only has one arm) picked her up and carried her over to the bed. She woke up and said she needed to go to potty. He got her to the potty and she passed out again. He called my aunt and my uncle who live not far from them, and they came over right away. They called hospice and a nurse came out as well. The nurse said that Grammer had suffered another stroke. She was very agrivated and was trying to take off her jammies and was scratching at herself. They had given her valium and morphine to try to calm her down. She couldn't talk, she was just babbling. The nurse said it wouldn't be too long until she passed.
I drove down with the girls and spent the day with my family. All the cousins were there except Brady and my uncle Brad is coming in tomorrow from Reno. I just kept saying on the way down there, "hang in Grammer until I can tell you I love you!" It was a nice day under the circumstances. The hospice nurse who is wonderful explained to us all about what to expect, and made us more comfortable with what is at hand. I was able to go in and sit on the bed with her and hold her hand, and she held my hand tightly as well. She would open her eyes, then close them and whenever anyone would come in the room, she would open her eyes again. She would look like she was trying to say something, but just couldn't get the words out. They changed her pain medication to something that would make her less itchy and aggitated, and it seemed to work better. By the time I left, she was more alert and was staying awake for long periods of time. She drank water, and after I left she had a little ice cream. She loves children and when the great grandkids came to visit, she wouldn't let go of them. Just before I left, I went and gave her a kiss and told her that I loved her very much and to get good rest. She held on to my hand and looked at me and without hearing her verbally, I felt her tell me that she loved me too. So, as of right now things with her are still lingering. She is still with us and we are all ready for her to go home, she is so miserable and we just want her to be at peace.

I love my grammer so much, and will miss her more than words can say. She is the grandma that I would wait at the window watching for and cry hysterically when she would leave. We made great road trips to St. George and Bear Lake together, she even had a barf bucket just for me in her backseat knowing that I got car sick on long drives. She would sing silly songs with us and always has great treats in her pantry. We always knew we were welcome whenever we wanted to come visit, and she treated us like royalty. When we were little, she would come from St. George and drive all the cousins to her house and we would stay for a week or two at a time. She made great food, and was always cooking for us. We never left her house hungry. She was the Bear Lake lady, she had a time share there and we would go every summer until I was 10. We were all so excited when she moved to Ogden so that she could be closer to us. All the cousins had put dibs on parts of her body that we wanted when she died. I wanted one of her arms because she had that soft "grammer" skin on it that we would play with all the time. Mandy wanted her head because of the skin under her chin, and Natalie wanted her whole body to be stuffed so that she could put her on her bed and always have her. We would all get mad at Nat because if she got her whole body, then we wouldn't get our parts. My uncle Bret is a mortitian and works at the mortuary that she will be taken to, and when she first heard of that, she made us swear that Bret would not be the one to get her body ready, as she didn't want him to see her naked!!! She would do the always embarassing grandma comments at all the right/wrong times... such as... while we are birthday shopping, she would pass by a group of cute boys and start talking about shopping for bra's! Of course my favorite was when we were checking out at a department store and she announced to everyone that she and I wore the same size bra. She built a great family and is sooo loved!



I feel so much better tonight about everything because I was able to see her again, and I know that even after she is gone, I will see her again... and I am so grateful about that! I know that my cousin Andy will be there with open arms when she passes, and that she will be with her mom and dad again. I know that she will watch over our family just as she always has. I am so grateful for all the wonderful memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life and I am oh so thankful that my kids got to be around her and grow to love her. I am thankful to my Aunt Judy for helping Gramps take care of her, and being so close to them. I am so grateful for Gramps and him taking such good care of her and listening to all her stories and going along with her as whe started to say silly things. I am so blessed by the life that they have had together. Bittersweet will be the moment that I get the phone call that says she is gone!


Thank you for listening/reading my ranting... but this was very theraputic!!!
My cup runneth over!

Easter Dresses...

These are my beautiful Spring girls. Since they were sick on Easter, I didn't get any pics at all that day. So, these were taken last sunday. They love their dresses and wear them constantly.


Best Sisters!!!
This is the front view!!!

Sleeping Beauties!!!

My friend Tiffany posted a picture of her cute little Isaac sleeping the other day and so after I read that post, luckily my kids were still asleep and I too, wanted a pic of them sleeping, you get them at their most peaceful moments!!!

Beene had come into our bed in the middle of the night after a "bad dream" and slept the rest of the night with us. She looks so peacefull, and so in her element. I know, I know I need to get rid of the binky, she is almost 4, but she is little for a month longer!!!
This is Julles in all her glory!!! She hates covers and is usually only on her pillow when she is first asleep. It is a dang good thing that she has a full sized bed because she is all over that thing through the night. She has only fallen off a few times, but this is how she looks almost every morning when I go in to check on her. (on the days she doesn't come and smack me in the face to wake me up!!!)
It is so funny how different their sleeping "styles" are, Beene hardly moves when she sleeps, and Julles is all over. Beene LOVES covers and Julles hates them, I cover her up and almost immediatly she kicks them off. They both however are kids after my own heart, they both have to their blankies to sleep. It is a bad day if they have to be washed!!! Julles falls asleep smelling her blanky and you have to pry it off her nose after she falls asleep!!! Beene is asleep when you can hear her sucking on her bink really fast and loud!!! She twists her hair until she is asleep as well and usually wakes up in the morning with that piece of hair (usually her bangs) sticking straight up in the air. Oh how they make my heart happy!!!

Helping Hand...

My little Beene is a great kid and I love her sooo much. She has such a great big heart and is always willing to help out. In our school class she has a friend named Sara who is a sweety. She is really shy and likes to have someone help her down our stairs because they are kinda steep. So, usually she asks me to help her down, and this particular day, I glanced down the stairs and saw that Beene was helping her down the stairs, holding her hand. It was the greatest photo op. I was so glad that I had my camera around my neck that day.
I love this picture, it captures them as being the good friends that they are.

Friends are fun!!!

This is from the last day of school, and part of my little Joy School class. Starting from left to right we have: Isaac, Zachary (that smiled like that in all of the ones I took of them together!), Jillian (who didn't like me to call her Beene during school), and Sara. Sara is terrified of the boys and will only sit by Beene. School was no fun for her when Beenie was out sick. Missing is Caleb, he was not wanting his picture taken, for a reason unknown. So, he sat out and watched with Julles. Aren't they cute little kidlets? I just love them all and can't wait to have them again next year to teach!

"V" is for Volcano!!!

So, once again... this happened a long time ago, while I was teaching school last month. Again with the camera issues!!!

This was on my last day of teaching and we were talking about the letter "V". I chose to make volcano's out of aroma dough and then let the kids paint them. They were a huge hit and the boys had a blast putting lava all over the place (my kitchen table was sure glad that they paints we used were washable... thank heavens for crayola!!!). I took a picture of each of the kids with their volcano's and their family booklets that they made over the course of three weeks. This is what my girls pictures turned out like!!!





Julles loved being a "big kid" and doing everything they did at school each day!
Here she is with her "atano" and she is soo proud of it, can't you tell?


This was one of like 5 pictures I took of her and her "pacano". Honestly, this is the one that turned out the best!! I tried and tried, but she would change her face and pose right when I would hit the button and so I just gave up!!! It kinda looks like she is doing the potty dance!! Wouldn't you agree?
We had so much fun with all the kids at our house during school. For graduation we are making each child a book of the fun things they did in each unit. The pictures of them from my house will make for a fun "unit" part of the book.

Driving "Miss Beenie" and "Miss Drooly"

My kids LOVE car rides... well actually I should say, I LOVE CAR RIDES!!! I always know that when I need a little rest time with my kids that I can put them in the car and they will zonk out within 15 minutes of driving around if I get the right time of day. Well, on this particular day, I needed to "take a ride" really badly. So, I got them in the car and started to drive. I didn't care what they were wearing (I really did dress them in cute outfits in the morning and by this time they had changed their clothes about a hundred times...) Julles was in Beene's doggy nightgown, and Beene was in her yellow shirt (that she wears as jammies) and her purple see through ballet skirt and her beautiful sunglasses, oh and their smelly princess shoes!!! This is what I found when I got out of the car to get them when we returned home!!!


"Miss Beene" the diva, if you look closely she has her eyes totally closed!!!


"Miss Drooly" (because she drools when she sleeps in her seat!)
She had to hold the water bottle!!!
Aren't they just the cutest things you ever saw??? They take after me and my mom, we can fall asleep in the car anytime! Luckily I don't get tired when I am in the driver's seat, but when I am a "passenger" it is just a matter of when I fall asleep.

My Girls Night Out project revieled!!!

So, many days after the fact... I have realized that I was supposed to post what MY box looked like. So my box and I had a "photo shoot" if you will. These boxes are super easy and fun. They look intimidating and all, but we had a great time and didn't get too lost! Thanks Amy for your cute ideas and for showing us all how to recreate this beautiful box!!!
Drum roll please........
TA-DA!!!!!!!

"The Box!!"
"The lid"
"The Dividers" inside the box
Sorry to those who were waiting and waiting for this post!! (If anyone ACTUALLY was) I am now able to get photo's off the camera and on the computer!!!