I had a dream... and other ramblings

Last night, I slept kinda rough, in and out. I had a dream that I was laying down and that my Grammer was snuggeling me, she was holding me tight. When I woke up to Julles calling for me I realized it was really Jonathan holding me tight, but what a dream to have. I then got worried that maybe she had passed in the night, but I didn't hear any phone's ring here at my mom's house. When my mom called to get the morning update, she was still doing ok, she had a really restless sleep and tossed and turned a lot. She was up a long time again yesterday and ate a lot as well. Everytime I leave her side I tell her I love her and give her a kiss on the forehead, not knowing if that will be the last time I see her.

I have only lost one other immediate relative in my lifetime, the first being my cousin Andy, who died a few years back. I had a dream after he died that he came to me in a grocery store and wanted me to tell his mom and dad that he was doing great and was very happy. It was a lot more detailed than that, but that is the general idea. I didn't see him much growing up, but when we did get together, it was nothing but laughs and fun. It was hard to have him gone, but knowing what I know about death, I know it is not for long. The same goes for Grammer, but she has been such a big part of my life and it is just sad to know that she can't be here on earth with us forever. She is such a strong part of our family and has made our family strong. We were talking last night and Rich (my brother-in-law) said that she is truly the cornerstone of this family.

I was driving down to Ogden on Tuesday to see her, for what I thought might be the last time, and I thought to myself..."How lucky am I that I can get in my car and drive down to see her!" If this would have been back in the days of horse and buggy, how different things would've been. First of all, instead of a phone call, it would've been a letter that would have taken a month to get there, and then weeks to get to her side. I am so glad that I live in this time where we have the things that keep us in touch with the people that we love. I don't think that I could've asked for a better family than I have. Love to you all!!!